As I write this I am currently sat in someone's living room, which doubles as their bedroom. I do not know this man's name and he speaks not one solitary word of English and he is mainly drunk. I have the spare room. How did I get here? Well....
I woke up where I went to sleep just outside Lulebergas, took forever to get going, managed 10km before stopping at a petrol station for biscuits and got chatting to some guy over a chai about dieting, sugar intake and balconies whilst he was waiting for his friend who was over the road negotiating something? I arrived in Chorlu 40km later and at about lunchtime. A kebab was found which was a sandwich which lead to another kebabwhich and a chai of which payment for both was refused. The next stop was Silivri but was never reached. I found the sea and went to investigate instead. I dipped my toe in the water but got frightened by children telling me of an electric fish which was actually dead, not asleep. One of the children chased after me up the hill shouting at me and when I looked round he had a biscuit for me, which I ate. This lead to looking for a camp by the sea which I found but was unable to reach as the whole area was a ghost town of derelict holiday homes that were not that old but the streets had gates guarded by dogs. I took a short cut to a German holiday village but ended up in a sewer and got a puncture. I repaired the puncture outside the gate of the village with the help of the security guard who said I could use the shop but his superior said no. Then the spindle on the wheel I had fixed broke and now I was in shit. But the shit came off 'cos the spindle was just long enough by 1mm to do up as long as I didn't go over any bumps. So I cycled down the motorway with 1mm of spindle nut holding the wheel on and the security guard appeared and guided me to a shop. The shop had no kebabs but it had beer and yoghurt but it was dark. So a 10 year old guided me to the kebab shop but I didn't have enough money so I just had a Turkish pizza thing. I didn't have any money after this but they gave me a coke but then a man from Hackney who was staying upstairs came in and this meant I got more pizza and chai for free and a lift to the bike shop if I wanted, which I might well do. They said to camp on the beach so I did, but three men I had said hello to earlier said don't camp here, camp up here instead, so I did, but they talked to a man in a beach side cafe and he said don't camp where they said, camp here, so I did. He said have a cup of chai so I did. He spoke German so so did I and a little man in the corner made jokes in the corner in Turkish so I laughed. Then the man who could speak German said I should sleep in a house, so I said yes. And me and the man who spoke German and the little man and another man walked up a road in the dark and I put my bicycle and me in a room with 2 beds and all the men went away and I stayed in the room. Then the little man came back. It's his house, so I got up. He put the telly on and we watched Turkey play Germany at the football. He said I must drink his beer which is in the fridge, so I did. I offered him some of my Serbian Raki but he thought this was a bad idea and I agreed. Then he said something in Turkish so I nodded then he pulled the mattress up off his bed and showed me his gun! Then he said something about three/four which I understood because I can now count up to ten in Turkish. Then he did a stabbing action. Then he phoned his wife/girlfriend/daughter/escort/chatline ??? in Istanbul and then he went out smoking a cigar and a bit drunk. So you see this is how today went.
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